Naruto the dumb
by BobTuba
Summary: What Naruto went to train for 6 years instead of two? What if he did One Punch Man training? What if he exploited some basic Justus and made them OP? What if he still was retarded all the while? My kind of Naruto fic LOL [NaruHina] Now rated M so I can write freely. [2 week hiatus (vacation]
1. Not enough yet

I DON'T OWN NARUTO LOL

This is just a fic exposing some things I found funny while following Naruto nd writing my kind of fanfic at the same time.

* * *

Naruto sighed to himself.

It has been two years since Jiraiya-sensei started training him and all knows is better chakra control, how to dispel genjutsu, and how to better control a rasengan.

"Whew!" Jiraiya exhaled as he picked up his belongings, ready to leave the current village, "About time we head back, don't you think?"

"Actually…" Naruto started, "I was wondering if I could train on my own for a while..."

Much to Naruto's surprise Jiraiya smiled.

"There are some things you can only teach yourself! How long do you plan to be gone?"

"Maybe by the end of the month, or year, or however long it will take for me I guess." Naruto replied.

"I'll let the villagers know then!" and with that Jiraiya headed down the road towards Konoha.

Meanwhile in Konoha about 3 days later…

Tsunade hears a knock on her office door. "Come in." she grumbles.

Jiraiya walks in with a smile. "Hello to my favorite tsundere! Hokage work getting hard for you?"

"You wouldn't even kn-" recognizing the voice, Tsunade immediately brightens up- even ignoring the tsundere comment. "You're back! How was the training!? Where is the little brat?"

Ah, Jiraiya thought, slightly hurt. She cares more about him than me…

"He going to do some solo training, he said he might be back at the end of the month."

We can wait… Tsunade thought.

Word quickly got out and people started planning a welcome party. Not that anybody missed him, but rather the spunk he brought to the village. Konoha wasn't really Konoha without Naruto. At the end of the month,a great big party was held in anticipation for the return of Naruto. But he never came…

Determined the village hosted the parties every month at the end of the month until the next morning. Konoha called it the day of the kitsune, after Naruto.

Back to Naruto….

Naruto strolled until he found a library. Interested he walked in and found himself in the "unwanted" section. Just like me, he thought bitterly. One book caught his eye, The Jutsu Alminac by Orochimaru. Naruto decided to take a look. He tucked the book under his arm and saw yet another book, One Punch Man by ONE. Flipping through, he saw the lame yet funny story of a nobody who suddenly became overpowered through a routine seeming impossible to him for 3 years. Naruto decided he was going to return to the village stronger than ever! As he headed over to the counter, the lady there said he could keep them since they were unwanted, score!

At his temporary apartment Naruto flipped through the almanac first and noticed that not only is every jutsu ever created within the last year was listed, but also the hand signs, requirements, uses, and even counters. Naruto's eyes widened as he looked at notes saying the substitution should really be S class, just everyone does it wrong. Having enough Naruto thought about what his training regimen should be now. "I have to amp it up since I'm not a nobody, but I also want to keep the thrill of battle...I'll try 1,000,000 situps and pushups and 100 laps around the entire village every day he figured.

And so he began.

* * *

How's that for my first chapter ever!?

It's only going to get better~!


	2. Training

I DON'T OWN NARUTO LOL

* * *

This is just a fic exposing some things I found funny while following Naruto and writing my kind of fanfic at the same time.

Note: It's not the books that are important, it's the knowledge.

* * *

Naruto's training was quite grueling. He would wake up at 5:30 am and force himself to do the entire exercise regime before the sun reached its highest in the sky- without charka*. Then he would spend the rest of the day studying Justus and practicing the ones he could do on his own.

He slept like a rock and ate like a starved T- devil every day. He came to ignore the usual cracking sound of his bones, and the tearing sound of his muscles as he knew the kyuubi would just heal them.(Mind you this was extreme exercize for the poor fox.)

And the years flew by….

3 years later, Naruto was done for the day and headed back to the apartment, sweaty, exhausted, and hungry. Finally, I'm done! He thought as looked at a mirror hanging on a wall. Having never gotten a hair cut, his hair nearly covered his eyes and was dangerously close to reaching his back. Naruto made a mental note to shave and removed his shirt to admire his muscles. They were large, but no larger than average to his disappointment, and on his belly was only a 4- pack, with his seal in the center.

 **Don't worry kit, your new muscles made room for more chakra networks, allowing faster and better chakra.** His tenant reassured.

"But I want to look more macho…." Naruto complained. "For Sakura."

 **Lol this brat is still fawning over that useless pink hair.** The kyuubi laughed.

"Shut up!" "She's not useless!"

 **Name one thing she is good for.**

(Silence)

 **I thought as much.**

Grumbling to himself for losing, the blonde took a shower and looked through his alminac after. He had finally been able to master all available jutsu and memorized everything else about the ones he couldn't preform. He didn't check the last page however, that was labeled Senjutsu. He took a look at the different sages and was quite amazed. While it was a time consuming technique, it was very powerful. It also said Jiraya had found a way to acquire sage mode quickly. Naruto decided to try it.

In a lone cave, Naruto filled up the space with shadow clones and sat down to focus. He atunned to the ways of nature and finally found it. "HaHA!" He exclaims in triumph and played with it a little. He threw cake punches at stalagmites and directed the nature chakra to hit it. He noticed though that nature chakra doesn't hurt nature, as the stalagmite just got bigger. Good to know.

Naruto headed back to his apartment, proud for learning all jutsus, sage mode, and getting a great workout, but his key would open the door.

"Hey!" He shouted to an old clerk nearby, "What gives with the door?"

"Sorry sir but you see, you haven't paid your rental fees for a year."

"Nani? I just left this morning!" He shouted in disbelief.

"Actually you left one day and never returned for a year. Room service has never been easier!" Said the lady.

"What about all my stuff?"

"We burnt it." she replied casually.

"Que?! All my stuff…." good thing he memorized the alminac, 'cuz it was long gone.

Thank goodness he left Gama-chan in his pocket for a new head band and ninja out fit.(He was only wearing civilian clothing.) He ended up buying a suit with less orange and a bit of black to it and also bought a black head band from the tourist souvenirs section.(Think the shippuden look) Alas, Gama-chan was deflated now and he couldn't afford a hair cut.

Naruto plan his route to Konaha, even taking trees into account, he wanted to walk all the way there with only his hands. Finding his route, Naruto began a handstand and set off.

* * *

Yay! Naruto returns next chapter! No more split personas! I know Naruto got sage mode to easy but it was necessary to fill a huge plot hole. Note: I'm newer to this than a fetus to Earth, It will get better I promise for real this time.

Life lesson: Keep track of your time in a cave. Naruto was in there for a year.

*Using chakra for active activity is a major part of being a ninja, whether fighting or running, which is why those that can absorb it are seen as OP. The training Naruto did is like going from Hiking the rocky mountains to hiking the Himalayas. **ON YOUR BARE KNEES.** For a good example, take the scene when Lee and Saskue fight before the Chuunin exams, Saskue had a disadvantge because the Sharingan only helps you keep up with the Chakra stream, not the actual speed of a person.


	3. Return to Konoha

I DON'T OWN NARUTO LOL

Ay Carramba!

I lost an entire chapter somehow!

Luckily I was alerted of this.

Don't worry, I re- wrote it.

* * *

Being gate chuunin sucked.

All you did was recognize the ninjas of the village and apprehend the wackos before they got to the village. 24/7. Every day. The worst part was jounins insist on knocking him out before entering the village, causing him pain, and slight distress. He only got a break on the day of the kitsune, which happened to be today, because the festival was centered around the gates. Only a couple more hours before freedom.

Then he saw it. A man, maybe a ninja. Approaching at high speeds. On his hands? Definitely a wacko.

"Hey! Stop!" the chuunin shouted.

The man didn't stop, he increased his pace even.

The chuunin shakily prepared for battle, but noticed the man was veering off slightly.

He ended up crashing headlong into the wall next to the gates. Confused, the wall chuunin took a closer look.

Why was he sleeping?

…..

Tsunade released a sigh as she looked at the stack of papers that seemed to taunt her. When will this stop? Then she heard a knock on the door.

"Who is it? I'm busy."

Shizune walked in. "Tsunade, there is an unknown ninja in the hospital."

"Then why is he in the hospital*?"

"He is apparently from Konoha Ma'am."

"Alright I'll check him out," Tsunade said getting up. She needed a break anyway.

….

Tsunade looked over the mysterious man who was contently sleeping.

"Nothing seems to be wrong with him….let me check his vitals. What happened anyway?"

"The wall chuunin at the front gates said he saw him approaching the gates at high speeds on his hands, but when he stopped, he was sleeping. So he took him here." Shizune said.

"Oh, goodness! SHIZUNE! GET SOME FOOD MADE ASAP! WE ARE LOSING THIS MAN WHO HAS ZERO FOOD IN HIS BODY!" Tsunade yelled.

Shizune ran from the room quickly to grab the food. While Tsunade attempted to stall for the man's life. Then something on his chest gleamed. It was a necklace with a single green crystal on it. Tsunade knew it could only mean one thing, he killed and looted Naruto. (A/N: Or he is Naruto but whatevs) Tsunade cocked back her fist and prepared to finish the half dead man when Shizune touched her shoulder.

"Why don't we find out who he is before killing him?" she said, placing a bowl of cup ramen on a nearby table.

Tsunade stood down resentfully. She hated it when Shizune had a good point.

….

Naruto awake to his favorite smell in a hospital room. He quickly grabbed the ramen an consumed it within 10 seconds.

"Ahh, thanks for the meal!"

"Exscuse me sir, but may I ask who you are and where Naruto is?" Tsunade asked with an all to kind smile.

Naruto was to sleepy to notice. (If you fill yourself when you are starving, you feel kinda sick and not quite intact.) "Eh? I am Naruto."

Tsunade broke.

She grabbed Naruto by the neck and slammed him against the wall. (Now he's awake.) And released killer intent so strong a bijuu would piss itself.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO NARUTO!"

Naruto say his life flash before his eyes, and say how much of a laughing stock he would be if he died right here and now, so he did the only logic thing. Plead for his life.

"Please dont kill me Baa-chan…" he whispered.

Tsunade paused.

There was only one person she knew that was dumb enough to call her granny, and he was chocking right now.

Tsunade let him go and apologized.

"It's ok, Baa-chan, It's nice to know you care!"

Tsunade took a step back and looked at him. Naruto had so much hair it covers his eyes, and he was constantly brushing it out. He was also way taller and muscular than before.

"Shizune l, get me some scissors."

Tsunade used the scissors to give Naruto his old hairstyle back, much to his appreciation. Then seeing no other abnormalties, Tsunade let him go.

"Thanks Baa-chan!" Naruto waved.

As he walked out of the Hokage building, he saw some civilians moving some fireworks.

"What's the occasion?" he asked. And the civilian told him about the day of the kitsune's return. A bit peeved he came up with the ultimate prank and ran back to the Hokage for help with his plan.

…..

That night…

…..

The village was in a full blast festival. Villagers walked through the city wearing masks and kimonos to buy from shops and play at booths. Fireworks lit up the sky in every shade of red, orange, and yellow ever made. It was a beautiful night to live through. Then, there was a gentle hush as people looked towards the hokage balcony to see the Hokage deliver a speech.

"Citizens of Konoha, welcome to the 72 annual day of the kitsune's return." The crowd cheered. "To celebrate the 6 years this has existed, I'd like you to all see and old friend, returning from long ago."

With that the gates were pushed open magestically, and they reveal….the kyuubi.

Screams and panic erupted through the village. The fear of the citizens was so thick through the air was so thick, one could taste the foul feeling.

Some were defiant, "We watched the kyuubi die, how can this be possible!?" some said.

The kyuubi replied by shooting a fireball. The screaming resumed.

Naruto snickered, who knew a henge and a couple fireworks would be so priceless?

Some villagers grabbed their loved ones and ran. Other stood and prepared to fight. Some cursed Tsunade for opening the gates. But all the shinobi didn't move an inch.

They all saw through the shabby henge immedianlty and were just waiting for the idiot who played the sick prank to remove it. With a poof, Naruto dropped the henge and grinned at the chaos he caused. This will go down in the record books.

Suddenly, recognition swept through the ninja, causing many to leave.

The rookie nine quickly ran over to great him.

"OMG Naruto! It's been so long!" squealed Sakura.

Naruto chuckled.

"You even changed! Now you're taller and everything! You finally got manly!" Sakura then continued with a blush. "Do...you think….I got….more womanly to you?"

"Nah," Naruto reassured, telling her like it is. "You haven't changed at all."

All the ninja within earshot facevaulted and sakra hit Naruto. But surprisingly, Naruto didn't go flying. Even though he seemed talk off guard by the punch, it didn't seem to affect him. Instead, Sakura found herself in pain.

"Damn Naruto, why in the world would you hurt a girl!" she said holding in pain.

"But I didn't even…." Naruto stopped when he felt someone behind him.

Ino pressed up against his side and grabbed one of his arms.

"Heyy big guy, couldn't help but notice these guns here, mind telling me how you got them?" Ahe said in a sexy voice.

Naruto's face changed to a scary one.

"Do you really want to know?" he said dangerously.

Ino's attempt at flirting when to the garbage. "Uh...yes?" she asked.

Naruto's face suddenly became very detailed, like someone out of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. He began to shout.

"1,000,000 push-ups! 1,000,000 sit-ups! 1,000,000 squats (If you're a Shikamaru you know he he's bluffing with the squats) , and 100 laps around the village I was in.

EVERY SINGLE DAY. WITHOUT CHAKRA. FOR TWO YEARS."

The crowd gasped, Shikamaru fainted, and Lee burst into tears.

Lee ran over to Naruto and have him a tearful hug."Then you know….the pain….of having no chakra?" He said activating the unbreakable genjutsu.

Naruto started to cry himself."Yes Lee. It's ok. You won't be alone anymore." He said, further strengthening the genjutsu.

The remaining conscious ninja then barfed.

Tsunade walked up to the group talking to Naruto after he released the genjutsu.

"What happened in that one last year."She asked.

" Oh I was just in a cave sitting there." He chuckled.

"So are you some Buddha now?" Chouji asked.

"Alas no, but I've gained a peaceful power." Naruto explained.

Tsunade was a bit suspicious of the way Naruto was avoiding details, so she asked only one more question.

"Why did you come back to the village on your hands?"

"Oh, I thought it would be some nice training, but I guess I didn't ever stop and nearly starved."

Satisfied, Tsunade left.

"Well, I should get going to bed, so…" Naruto took one last look at everyone.

Sakura was the exact same, Ino was sluttier, Chouji was way taller and had more hair, Shikamaru was lazier, Hinata was….cuter?, Shino seemed more reclusive, Kiba was more feral, Lee, was definitely stronger, Tenten probably would survive going through a metal detector by now, and Neji, was more Neji like.

 **Lol do you think the Hyuuga vixen is cute now?**

 _What! I do not!_

 **Then you would mind these images of her naked in your mind right?**

 _Well….I don't mind…._

 **You just exposed yourself Lol.**

Darned fox.

Saying his last good byes, Naruto left for his apartment and quickly got into his bed.

Ahhh. Home. Crap. Home.

* * *

OMG SO SORRY FOR LOSING LITTERALLY ONE OF THE BEST CHAPTERS I'VE WRITTEN.

But it's better now!

Why do people from Konoha feel the need to heal enemies and threats? It gets them over and over. I just don't get it.

Well I guess this patches things.

Yay!

R&R!


	4. Lunch but dinner

I DON'T OWN NARUTO LOL

Food for thought, an average ninja can only make clones from a genjutsu of sorts, as they can touch anything and can only be broken by finding the real one. Shadow clones should be an over powered surprise to ninja.

* * *

Naruto rose before the sun the next day and ran off to train.

He practiced every jutsu preformable in the books on trees to reorient his chakra control. By noon, Naruto had a clearing 5 miles wide in the middle of a forest. There in the middle he laid, panting from the exhaustion of chakra, when he pick up a chakra signature.

"Distant eye," Naruto muttered as he formed a small, flying eye from dirt. It flew up and identified a ninja watching from the edge of the clearing. Naruto smiled as he decided to play a prank.

* * *

Hinata watched Naruto in awe, observing a he cleared the forest, bit by bit, with a different jutsu every time. When he laid in the clearing she knew that she just had to get her stamina up no matter what, to keep up with Naruto. Then, he proofed out of existence.

Huh? It was just a shadow clone? Hinata scanned the area with her byakugan and found no trace of chakra left. Assuming it has a shunshin to teleport back to the village, she turned around to leave while deactivating her byakugan.

Naruto then poked his head out from a tree near Hinata.

"Hey Hinata!" He greeted gleefully.

Hinata squeaked in suprise, quickly turning around in case she needed to defend herself, only to squeak again, recognizing Naruto, and fainted before she could even blush.

"Everytime…" muttered Naruto. He realized he has never had a decent conversation with Hinata, because she always fainted around him. He didn't even get to brag about how he substituted a clone heaved into a tree in her blind spot and turned it back before it disappeared to spook her. Then, yet another idea can to mind.

Hinata woke up from a rather satisfying dream of Naruto "suprising" her from behind. She looked around and only found a small toad near her.

"Oh toad, if only you knew how disappointed I am." She sighed.

"Well maybe I do," the toad replied casually.

"Eh? How can you talk?"

"Simple, it's me, Naruto!"

Hinata wasn't buying it just yet. "Then who do I love 'Naruto'?"

Hinata realized her mistake with this question. What if he knew? What if he didn't know but then knew from this question? The thought of getting rejected by a toad made her antsy, and a blush crept on her face as she waited tentatively for the answer.

" I don't know, who?"

Hinata breathed a sigh of relief. It was Naruto.

Although she was disappointed, chasing someone clueless to you is always better than chasing someone who rejects you. Lookin' at you Sakura.

" Don't worry about it Naruto, why are you a toad?"

"Well every time I try to talk to you, you faint, I thought it must be my face, so I became a toad so we can have a decent conversation."

Naruto wanted to have a conversation? With her? A blush crept upon her face.

"Okay then, what do you like?"

Naruto was ready for this question. "I like ramen, training, and…" he was going to say Sakura but, did he really like her?

Hinata noticed this pause and asked what was wrong.

"Well...I though I liked Sakura, but I'm not sure anymore." He said shyly.

A spark of hope ignited in Hinata's heart and she couldn't wait until he stopped liking Sakura. But she had to be nice so…

"I'm sure you will find out for sure soon" Hinata said hopefully.

"Thanks! Hinata" the toad smiled. Then he heard his stomach growl. "Yo, I haven't had Ichiraku's in 6 years, that can't be healthy."

Hinata giggled until she heard the next question.

"Wanna get some with me?"

Hinatas mind moved like a blur. If she accepted, she would be eating ramen with a toad. Toads can't eat ramen. Naruto would have to drop the henge to eat. She would be eating to. They would both be eating. Together. At a restaurant. They would be seen as a couple on a date. With Naruto. A date with Naruto?! Hinata blushed so hard she fainted.

"Well, I will take that as a yes then." Naruto said, dropping his henge and picking her up. (A/N: Lol he sounds like a rapist.)

….

Hinata woke up to the smell of ramen.

She found herself sitting at the table of Ichiraku's. With Naruto next to her.

"Look who decided to wake up!" Naruto cheered. "Order whatever you want, on me!"

Hinata looked into his luscious, gorgeous blue eyes and a blush crept up on her.

"O-o-okay," she said.

Then old ramen shop owner himself came over.

"What can I have for a lovely couple like- NARUTO?!"

Naruto grinned "The one and only!"

"It's been six years! How have you been?"

"Just training to get stronger! Hokages aren't weak!"

The old man smiled. "Ayame come here! Someone is here for you!"

There was a shout from the kitchen saying "Ugh, Dad. How many times must I tell you-NARUTO?!" she screamed.

"OMG it's been so long! Look at you all handsome and grown up!" Naruto grinned sheepishly. "You even have a girlfriend!" Ayame gushed looking at Hinata.

Hinata blushed really hard, she was tomato red now.

Naruto also blushed, but it was light.

"Well she's…." Naruto didn't really know how to finish that sentence so he didn't.

Poor Hinata fainted because Naruto didn't deny their relationship status, they were in a date after all.

When she came to she saw Naruto looking at her with concern. Had he waited for her to wake up to order? Maybe it was a courtesy thing.

"I would like the usual, and what would you like Hinata?"

"M-m-miso please."

While the chefs were cooking some random stranger walked past.

" Ugh, this demon brat is so filthy. He even threatened this poor woman into dating him, she's probably a whore though."

Naruto was pretty chill with insults, some were funny actually, but this took it quite far.

"Protect the ramen while I'm gone," he said heroically as he stepped out of the stand towards the stranger.

"What's your problem, man?" (Top 10 ways to confront enemy)

"YOU are my problem!" and the civilian launched into a monologue on how the kyuubi killer his wife or whatever.

"Why don't we fight?" Naruto said blankly. "If you win, I will kill myself with anything you want. If I win however, you and you friends must cower and pay respect to me and my friends whenever you see me forever."

The civilian now had a sly look. " Okay, but no chakra, wear this seal to stop you from using it."

The stranger walked over to put a seal on him but stabbed him with a black senbon when he was unaware. While Naruto hissed in pain, he laughed. I just sealed your chakra was forever!

Naruto could care less as he watched the cut heal.

Naruto didn't know however, that this civilian was the third best in taijutsu in the world (besides Gai an Lee) and would be a jounin if it weren't for the fact that he had zero chakra whatsoever, making him a civilian. Naruto, without chakra was in for it now.

The civilian rushed at Naruto fiening a punch to the face and instead going for a sweep kick. Naruto fell for this but didn't move when the kick connected. Baffled, the civilian jumped back and landed several kicks on Naruto from many different directions, this off balanced Naruto and made him fall, but didn't hurt him. The civilian decided to go for the kill now, and then ask questions later, when he felt extreme pain on his legs. Every part of his body he used to fight Naruto was now bruised really badly. He hissed in pain, unknowing a Naruto approaching him. He looks up to see his fist cocked back and downwards slightly, yet his face remaining emotionless. It was… terrifying. The civilian suddenly as drowning in killer intent leaking from Naruto. So much the civilians in the area watching felt the need to hide. Everything seemed to move in slow motion with the single punch Naruto threw.

"Mercy…?!" the civilian tried to get out, but there was none. Naruto stopped the punch a millimeter from the civilian's nose. He tried to act cool and turn with a 'Mercy' theme but didn't notice the civilian was sailing through the air, making it seem he was aware of how overpowered he was.

"Wow…" some girls flushed as they flocked around him at once, "You are single right? Wanna hang with us?"

Hinata half pouted at the display of fangirling she saw. She felt sick and wanted to go home.

"No, sorry I'm already seeing somebody." Naruto said blankly as he gestured towards Hinata. Causing the girls to pout and walk off saying things like, "You could so much better." (A/N: No harem. Ever. Never.) What Naruto meant though was that he was looking at Hinata because he wanted to check if his ramen was ok, but The other meaning had Hinata blushing.

The two shinobi ate their fill and prepared to leave when Ayame pulled Hinata aside.

"You know, Naruto has never waited for someone before ordering before, and this is the first time I've seen him come to blows with a civilian for insulting him and someone else….if you hurt Naruto you're dead."

Although Hinata blushed harder at those romantic deeds of Naruto, she was perplexed at that last part, how could she hurt Naruto when he literally sent someone flying with an air punch containing no chakra?

Hinata nevertheless nodded and walked back to where Naruto was.

...

 **Ask her to be your girlfriend.**

 _What?! Why?!_

 **Because she likes you, and you like her.**

 _But what if you're wrong about her?_

 **Am I wrong about you then?**

That stupid fox rivaled Shikamaru in wit.

 _But still….._

 **Fuckin' do it brat or I will posses you and do her.**

That was a pretty harsh threat.

A bit more arguing later….

Hinata got to Naruto. "T-thanks f-for t-t-the meal."

Naruto took a deep breath, " No problem Hinata. But I've got one question for you."

Hinata looked at him expectantly

" Do you believe in Santa? Or should I come smashing through your chimney dressed as someone else?"

At first, Hinata was confused, then she was understanding, then she was amused, then she was shocked, and a blush started from a light pink to a deep blood red, covering her entire face. Then she fainted.

 **I guess she prefers you in your current out fit lol.**

 _Shut it fox._

 _..._

Naruto carried the Hyuuga girl to the gates of the compound she called home when she began to stir. She woke up leaned against a pole with Naruto in front of her.

"One more thing before you go…" Naruto said tentivley.

Hinata listened.

"Would you...Do you… want to be my girlfriend?" Naruto stammered.

Hinata suddenly dashed past the Hyuuga council, kicking up dust. She returnsd moments later with a blush on her face. She dashed up to him, squeaked "Yes!" before dashing into the compound with her hands in the air.

Naruto released a breath. That was tougher than he thought. He walked home ignoring the chakra signature he got from a tree.

Itachi grinned, from the tree. The Akatsuki could move again.

* * *

Intensity! Fluff! Fights!

Naruto's chakra is still sealed!

Charka blows hurt more than normal blows!

Chakra still hurts Naruto!

No angsty Naruto thinking about his past and the civilians!

Kyuubi will have a big role someday!

(Did you noticed the "..."? Does that mean it was a dr-)

Yay!

R&R!


	5. Jiraiya appears

I DON'T OWN NARUTO LOL

Yo, last chapter's ending kinda stunk….for a reason.

Food for thought: a ninja is capable of substituting with anything that can conduct chakra, that isn't holding itself down.

Except for air.

* * *

Hinata woke up.

She looked up to see Naruto looking down worriedly.

"Sheesh, I guess that line went too far for a joke…." Naruto mumbled.

"Last time I do what the kyuubi says…."

Huh? So Naruto asking her out was just a dream?!

"So, disappointing…." Hinata mumbled out loud as she got up.

 _What does she mean?_

 **She's disappointed that you didn't fuck her brains out on the first date like you were supposed to.**

 _How the heck do you foxes date?!_

 **Quickly.**

And that was all from the fox.

"Are you ok Hinata?"

He's worried about me?!

"I-i-i'm f-fine Naruto" Hinata said while retreating towards the gates of the compound. "S-s-see you tomorrow." and with that she dashed off.

Naruto waved as she left and turned in the direction of his own, when he noticed Shikamaru and Temari walking together. He quickly caught up to them with a sly grin on his foxxy face.

"Heeeey, Shikamaru. I didn't know you two would get together this late in the evening." Naruto said.

"We aren't dating, if that's what you're getting at." Shikamaru replied without missing a beat, much to the disappointment of Temari. "What about you and Hinata? I could say the same."

Naruto glared for a moment at the Nara before regaining his smile.

"So why are you two together then?"

"We are making arrangements to prepare for the next chuunin exams."

Wow, that brought memories back.

"Speaking of which," Shikamaru began, "You are the only one in our grade that is still a genin, besides Sasuke. Everyone else is a chuunin."

"Eh?" was Naruto's dumb reply.

" And some people, like me and Neji have already been promoted to Jounin."

"WHAT?!" Yelled Naruto. "Wait. Gaara. What is Gaara?"

….

The young kazekage felt a shiver as he looked at his village from above.

Temari must be giving someone bad news.

…

(A/N: I laughed so hard when I watched this in the actual series.)

Naruto held his head as he felt the need to sit down.

" Oh come on!" Temari scoffed, "Just enter this exam and then do something heroic and you'll be jounin in no time."

Naruto blinked

"Oh! You're right!" and dashed home for some training.

"Great, with him, the test will be troublesome..." Shikamaru complained.

"If by troublesome you mean fun." Temari teased.

Temari could be such a drag sometimes.

….

The next day, Naruto found Jiraiya in a tree lazily writing in his book.

" What are you writing Ero-sennin?" Naruto already knew, he just had to confirm.

" I'm in a part of my book where the protagonist sets out in an open world, a vast beautiful plain, bordered with mountains hidden by lush forests to hunt down a beast so he can earn the rights a fair lady's hand in marriage. Why?"

This had Naruto truly wondering if those Icha Icha books were all that bad.

"Nothing." Naruto said. "I have a couple of questions though."

"Shoot."

" How do you go into sage mode faster?"

"Easy, you just- hey! Who taught you sage mode?! That's very dangerous stuff right there! Wanna be a frog statue?"Jiraiya yelled.

Naruto decided to leave out the fact he had learnt it from his ex-teammate who turned against Konoha and has gone down as one of the greatest traitors ever, and said he picked it up from some loose notes.

"Well brat, I guess if you already know, you can pull the nature chakra from the environment around you and then let it flow through you, but if you fail, you're a rock. Don't try to control it in any way."

Naruto immediately sensed the environment around him finding the nature chakra, then, using his own chakra made imaginary detour signs for the surrounding chakra to flow through him.

Naruto opened his eyes, revealing the marks.

"Nice speed, but the power isn't there quite yet. We need to visit the toads in order for you to completely master sage mode."

….

5 hours, a scroll, and a cool red cloak later…

….

Back in Konoha, Naruto's chest swelled with pride, he was a registered and accepted toad sage, which was yet another advantage in the chuunin exams.

"So what was your other question?"

Naruto's mouth gates at the astonishing memory Jiraiya possessed at such an old age.

"Well, I was wondering if there was a way to have all the elements." Naruto said.

"What for?" Jiraiya replied, "There really is no point and it's such a hassle to achieve, not to mention dangerous."

"Well, I learned a lot of jutsus that I can't preform and some of them can bring an advantage." Naruto explained, skillfully leaving the source of information out. " I would do almost anything to achieve that if that's what you're asking."

"Anything, huh…." Jiraiya thought. "Fine, but you must promise me one thing."

"What?"

"You must be the successor of the Icha Icha series."

"Nani? I don't wanna be the author of those pervy books!" Naruto yelled.

" Then no deal."

Naruto hated the fact that he needed that skill.

"Fine."

"Perfect! Now, In going to write the forbidden seal for the shinigami summon and your must officer him the amount of chakra a normal human contains. To a normal person, this is heavily taxing and could end your life. But, I believe you find otherwise."

Jiraiya said as he whipped out a spare scroll and began writing the seal.

Within a minute the seal was finished and the ritual was ready.

"Summoning Jutsu!" Jiraiya yelled as he smeared blood on the paper.

The area suddenly became very dark. Like Earth would never be alive again.

" **Who summoned me and why?!"** a deep voice yelled. " **That jutsu is forbidden so I can have the little sleep I have! Do you know how many people die every day?!"**

Jiraiya motioned for Naruto to speak.

"Um...I-I….N-naruto….have come….t-t-to give you a life portion of my chakra." Naruto half-mumbled.

The amount of KI was insane. You could feel it in the air like water. Even the kyuubi shrank a little in his cage.

" **Oh, that old thing. What are you waiting for? Gimme!"**

Naruto suddenly felt chakra leaving him at an intense speed, like water falling through one's hands. For the first time ever, he feared chakra exhaustion. Then it was over.

While Naruto was getting the succ, Jiraiya performed a jutsu giving Naruto the other elements. The thing with the shinigami was a gift.

The darkness eared after the shinigami left, happy with the chakra it was given.

"Whew, that was something." Naruto said, oddly pleased, or even pleasured, with his gain. " Now what?"

" I teach you how to write!" Jiraiya cheered, much to the displeasure of Naruto.

And for the rest of the day, the two read and wrote. Naruto found himself appreciating strange features of women and noticing small details in everything. Then, remembered Orochimaru's scroll and wondered if Tsunade had written anything.

On the way home, Naruto found Sakura sitting alone at a park, depressed. Feeling invincible, Naruto wandered towards her.

"Hey, Sakura, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Oh hey Naruto, I'm just really sad about Sasuke. He left without saying for sure if he loved me, and yet he knows I…" tears began to form in her eyes. "I wanted to ask him the same questions I asked you when you returned too…." She mumbled.

Naruto put Jiraiya's skills to the test.

"Well, I have an answer, I think you have changed, Sakura. You thighs are more luscious, your hips wider and your chest larger." Naruto said with a low voice and a soft smile that made Sakura blush.

'Maybe Jiraiya truly was a legendary Sannin.'

"Really, Naruto? And I thought you were dumb by saying I hadn't changed at all."

Without thinking Naruto continued "You haven't, those changes were so small I didn-"

You can't finish a sentence with a fist flying into your face, loaded with chakra.

Naruto hit the ground surprised at the feeling of pain he hadn't had in awhile.

"How can you say you even love me when you're so mean?!" Sakura screamed. "Sasuke compliments me better and he doesn't even talk!" "Go far away! If you were stillborn you would've died too late, much to the agreement of your parents!" She added before running off.

Woah, the heck was that.

 **Idk man but I do know you fucked up real bad. Can't chase HER anymore.**

Good point. If you crush attacks your birthdate, you need to find a new crush.

Naruto walked back game feeling like someone shot him in a FPS game.

He didn't know how, but he lost.

* * *

I'm gonna leave it there for the sake of plot, from now own no gains, only pain.

Itachi is still coming. He screwed with Hinata's dream to warn someone in a really creepy way.

Fact: Naruto's chakra is roughly 10 times for than a kage. Which is 3 times more the the average ninja. Which is 5 times as much as a civilian. So the shinigami didn't do shit.

 _R_ &R!


	6. Oh snap

I DON'T OWN NARUTO LOL

Sorry for the wait! I've been reading up and I feel like I can make this story even better!

Fun fact: Nature chakra can be controlled, be it has to agree with you.

Since most times all the chakra wants to do is "Go with the flow" it won't be controlled. Hashirama achieved this and became so OP but couldn't just do immediately simply because the nature wasn't up for it.

* * *

The next couple weeks before the chuunin exams, Naruto trained by taking on 7 missions from rank C to A every day. Through all these missions, Naruto noticed something strange, and went to Tsunade about it.

Tsunade heard a knock on her office door and was going to let him in, when Naruto bust through the door.

"Baa-chan! There's something wrong with me." Naruto yelled.

"Tell me about it…" Tsunade muttered as the poor office door let a sad squeak out from it's hinges before falling apart. "Aside from the lack of decorum, what's wrong."

Naruto decided to show her and whipped out a kunai.

Tsunade watched in horror as she watched the brat bring the kunai slashing against his wrists and was ready to panic and put the boy on suicide watch, then she noticed nothing happened. The kunai seemed to gently slide across his skin, point and all.

"How?" Tsunade asked breathlessly. Although these were skin armor jutsus and the like, kunais were still hella sharp.

"I don't know, but I only get hurt by chakra things now."

To prove his point, Naruto channeled chakra into the kunai and was going to cut himself when Tsunade stopped him, understanding his point.

"It appears you've reached a level of strength in your cells never seen before, that can only be hurt by a direct chakra blow." Tsunade mused. "Uses this to your advantage, but know this, shots and other necessary punctures will be much harder." She said much to the relief of Naruto.

"Thanks, but that wasn't my point." Naruto replied. "I can't feel as much pain."

Tsunade sat him down and checked his nerves using a jutsu.

"Wow!" she said astonished at her findings. "You're pain tolerance is the highest I've ever seen!"

Well that explained it.

"Just make sure you know what _should_ hurt so you don't accidentally destroy your body." Tsunade warned letting Naruto leave her office.

"Ok!" Naruto said, running off to finish some other missions before he chuunin exams.

….

Day of the exams

….

"Welcome to the annual chuunin exams!" An announcer said. " Some will emerge victorious, other will fail, and of course some of us will die!"

Many genin shivered amongst themselves. Naruto notice a group of tall, older looking shinobi, with forehead protectors hearing a cloud on each of their bodies. Naruto had be seen them before, get they seemed older, and more experienced, not flinching from the announcer. Suspicious, Naruto decided to keep a close eye.

"The first part of the exam will be the stealth test! We have a large building made of sand(thank you kazekage) Every team gets their own floor. There are 3 parts to each floor and each part has 20 guards, one key and one exit. You must find the guard with the key unnoticed and unlock the doors to help your teammates, because you need all three keys to escape the floor. But, if a guard notices you, they will throw sticky, yet blunt kunai containing a shunshin seal. If you get hit, you and the key will teleport here, meaning your team fails. So basically if you get noticed, you will get bombarded with seals from all the guards."

Naruto grinned at an exam finally having some difficulty and placed a summoning destination seal on a tree nearby.

"So if everyone is ready, there are stations for each team here for their own floors.

Ready, set, GO!"

Naruto waited a second, there was no time limit so he decided as everyone else hopped into a station and disappeared into the building.

Announcer saw this and moved over. "So, we finally have a smart one eh?"

Naruto grinned sheepishly at the praise. "Well, my friends don't really call smart, but dumb instead…"

"Then they don't know you are faking it. You need better friends." the proctor said as a matter of factly. "Speaking of friends, where is the rest of your team?"

"I'm just alone I guess…." Naruto stated, not wanting to go into detail how.

The proctor would have kept talking, but a genin fell out of the sky.

Team 32, FAIL.

Soon more and more genin fell from the sky.

Team 95, 43, 86, 29, 70, and 19 FAIL.

So many genin were failing there was little hope for a second test.

"Wow, you guys suck." Naruto blurted loudly.

"Hey, you're down here too." said a random genin

"I haven't even gone in yet retard."

"Ok what team are you? So I can see when you fail."

"I'm in team seven. And not only will I become chuunin, but also Hokage!"

The boy chuckled " Fine if you live until the tournament, fight me one on one. To tell you the truth I'm a shadow clone from team 51."

And with that he vanished.

TEAM 51, PASS.

"See you there!" Naruto yelled and charged into his station to get into the building.

* * *

I'm gonna leave it there for the sake of plot, and time.

Fun fact: Hinata posses a doll of Naruto that was once voodoo, used to kill him. She hides it whenever anyone comes in her room.

 _R_ &R!


	7. The chuunin exams

I DON'T OWN NARUTO LOL

Things are coming up! Updates will be slower! But I've been reading up, so updates will be better!

Fun fact: The shadow clone jutsu is a forbidden technique, it's the multi shadow clone jutsu that is forbidden. Then shadow clone jutsu has three seals (ram, snake, tiger) while the multi has only one. (That cross thing) The normal shadow clone jutsu can only make up to 5 clones (10 if you're Kakashi) and that's pushing it. Making any more would cause the rebound to affect you mentally because of all the info you receive at once. The multi shadow clone jutsu can be used infinitely, to the user's limit and the rebound remains just the same. Having to use only one seal, and making a 1000 clones is too OP so the jutsu was forbidden. (And it could potentially kill you because of the rebound)

* * *

Naruto dashed inside and out his hands together to make a clone-but nothing came.

Oh crap, my chakra is still sealed by that civilian, Naruto realized. He could mold and direct chakra, but he could expel it in a jutsu. He was going to have to do this without chakra.

Regaining composure, Naruto scanned the area, finding the ten guards. He took out some empty tags and a paintbrush, and quickly began making seals from the knowledge gained from Orochimaru. This needed to be very precise.

…..

A guard heard a dull thunk and noticed a kunai in the wall in front of him. This was the most obvious distraction he had even seen. The guard knew if he didn't move from his hiding spot, then stupid genin would think the coast was clear, and attempt to either retrieve the weapon, or search for a key. Unfortunately, the world doesn't fall for dumb tricks, and the guard prepared to throw a tag.

Suddenly, the kunai launched another kunai in the direction of the guard. He dodged silently, cursing himself for not seeing the tag on it. The kunai he just dodged began to glow. Too slow to dodge the guard rose his arms to shield himself from the blast. He was only met with a punch to the face.

Naruto stood triumphantly over the unconscious guard. He had successfully used a maneuver in which you throw a kunai with a sealed item ejection seal on it, with a kunai containing a hiraishin tag sealed within. Then he simply teleported.

Naruto used this maneuver to take down all 30 guards, eventually finding the keys on three of them, he unlocked all three doors to another seal station that transported him outside in the winners circle. The proctors there congratulated him and told him he ha an hour before the next test.

TEAM SEVEN, PASS!

Naruto didn't waste time running to the Hokage's office to find Tsunade.

Naruto burst through the doors of the office in a panic.

"Baa- chan! Someone sealed my chakra!"

Concerned, Tsunade sat Naruto down and checked his arm with a jutsu. (Where he was stabbed by the senbon that sealed him.)

"Well, I should be able to fix it but…"

Naruto was dying of anxiety

"But what? Will I die? Do I need a lobotomy? Must I sacrifice my left pinky toe to the turtles?!"

"Ummm, no. It's just that there's only one hour until the next test and I will need two."

Naruto was miffed.

"How will I do the next test?!"

"I'm sorry Naruto, but you are just gonna have to cope for now."

Naruto grumbled as he left. Without the use of chakra, he was nothing but a boy with knives and paper.

As he was headed back to the testing area, he almost didn't notice Hinata.

"Oh, hi Hinata," Naruto said in a grumpy voice.

"Ah! H-h-hello Naruto."

Why did he sound so mad? Was it because of her?

"Can I….tell you something Hinata?"

Hinata paused. What if he's saying that he doesn't love me. Or even worse, that he hates me! Tears welled up in her eyes as she nodded slowly.

Naruto explained his plight much to the surprise of Hinata.

"Oh, my I'm so sorry!" Hinata said. "You're chances of passing the exams is shortened because of me…."

"Oh don't worry about it….I would have done it anytime." Naruto said nonchalantly, "Besides, It's nice to have a challenge."

Hinata smiled. Naruto never, ever gave up, which is one of the reasons she loved him. She wouldn't give either.

"Well, I have to start heading back to the test area. I heard this test is a spectator one, so you wanna come with me?"

Hinata knew this was the perfect opportunity. A walk with Naruto? How romantic! A blush crept on her cheeks as she nodded.

" But I've got to run there so, make sure you stay within eye-shot if you're running with me."

Hinata's brain began to work.

 _Stay within eye-shot._

 _Stay within 15 feet of me._

 _Stay one to me._

 _Stay by my side._

The blush on her cheeks spread like wildfire and the Hyuuga heiress fainted.

"Aw, not again." Naruto complained as he scooped her up and began a brisk walk towards the testing area.

While walking, Naruto was confronted by the genin he meet at the tower from team 51.

"So you're name is Naruto, huh? I'm Nate. So I hear you are unable to use chakra for a while."(A/N: He isn't an OC he is just a character to fill the gaps in this arc. I came up with the name on the spot.)

Naruto growled. "Why is it you business?! I don't need chakra to win the next test."

"All right bet, If you do better than me on the next test, you win and I'll acknowledge you as superior. If I do better however, you have to back off as I get a date with your girlfriend." Nate said looking hungrily at Hinata.

Naruto almost said he didn't have a girlfriend, but then he saw the eyes of Nate, betraying his intentions. He was the kind of guy to have sex on the first date, and if he didn't get it, it was rape for the first date.

"And what if I don't agree to this?"

"Then you forfeit and I get that date."

Naruto glared at Nate and shuffled Hinata in his arms into a more defensive position.

 **Ooo look at the brat getting all territorial over his vixen!**

 _Shut it fox._

 **I don't know man, the Hyuuga and that not seem to make a good match**.

 _How?!_

 **He looks like a guy who can pleasure her, and she's someone who wants to get pleasured.**

 _SHUT IT BAKA_

"Fine," Naruto agreed. "We have a deal."

The boy laughed as he walked away.

 **Don't tell me I didn't have a point though, that man would make 10 kids in 2 years and you are too scared to even kiss her in her sleep.**

 _No I'm not!_

 **Then do it.**

Naruto looked at Hinata m, peacefully sleeping in his arms. He lowered his head slowly, intending only to gently brush his lips against hers. But when the touched, Hinata reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a deep, passionate, kiss by surprise. Naruto struggled, but Hinata was too strong, and she had weight advantage, leaving Naruto to only widen his eyes in surprise as she then proceeded to explore his mouth with her tongue. Naruto didn't imagine his first kiss to be like this. It was so odd being forced like this.

Hinata finally broke this kiss, mumbling "Tastes just like ramen." and "That was nice Naruto." In her sleep, giggling occasionally.

 **It's always the shy ones, huh.?**

 _You set me up fox! She almost killed me in her dream._

 **But not only did she like it, but you liked it to didn't you.**

Naruto blushed a very deep shade of red.

….

Hinata woke up from the most romantic dream ever, Naruto had proposed to her, and she agreed. She found herself in Naruto's arms and thought for a second it was real because of how hard he was blushing.

"Oh, you're awake." Naruto said, seemingly relieved. "I can put you down now."

But Hinata wanted to stay in Naruto's arms. She found herself unconsciously snuggling up to his chest and found herself very embarrassed about it.

"T-t-t-thank you" Hinata said as she got back on her feet. "I don't know h-how to repay y-y-you for all these things you've d-done for m-me."

"Don't worry about it, I feel like I've already been rewarded anyway." Naruto said, quickly leaving.

What did he mean? Hinata thought as went to the spectator's area.

….

"Alright folks! It's time for the second part of the chuunin exams!" the announcer yelled.

"This time, we are doing disguises!"

"Competitors will use the least amount of chakra possible to make a henge, genjutsu, or anything to make them who they aren't and if the majority of the spectators can figure it out you exact name, you . The less chakra you use, the higher the score!

Only 10 can pass! And there are 50 of you!"

Genin chatted amongst themselves. Naruto pumped his fist, the test was in his favor- kind of. He'd have to figure how to disguise himself.

"These spectators are one fourth ninja and three fourths citizens of Konoha, and everyone is equipped with a bingo book of all of you containing what you look like and how you act. You will have 10 minutes to plan, then you'll take turns going down this catwalk, courtesy of Gaara, the Kazekage."

"Go!"

Naruto was in trouble, he didn't know any henges nor genjutsu that didn't require chakra.

Then, he went over the rules again in his mind, and an evil smile appeared on his face.

….

"Here is the catwalk you've been waiting for folks! Up first is kunoichi using a little bit of chakra."

A girl walked down the stage.

"Hey, is that Rita Everest from the mist?" the crowd murmured.

"The crowd found her out! Sorry but you fail."

The girl walked off sadly.

"Up next is a ninja who is using way too much chakra for a henge."

A glamorous boy stepped onto the catwalk and strutted on.

Confusion rippled through the crowd.

"Well nobody knows who you are, but you scored low because of the chakra usage.

" Next! A ninja using very little chakra."

Naruto felt Nates presence step on the catwalk, his face was completely black.

Nobody figured him out.

"Finally, a high scorer!"

"Next up a boy using…..no chakra?"

Naruto chuckled as he walked down the stage.

IT'S THE DEMON! The villagers yelled.

THE FOX!

KILL THE KYUUBI!

DON'T LET HIM BE CHUUNIN!

FAIL THIS BRAT ALREADY!.

Hinata was appalled at the sudden yelling the citizens started, but was also astonished by how by how nobody called out his name.

"Since nobody called out his name, Naruto Uzumaki immediately passes with the highest score!"

WHAT!? BUT WE KNEW WHO HE WAS FROM THE YET GO!

"You might have, but DEMON is not my exact name!" Naruto snickered as he walked off the catwalk.

He then found his way to Nate.

"Look's like I beat you, so back off." Naruto warned.

"Tch, fine" Nate said before walking off.

….

"As and done!" Tsunade said putting a bandage on Naruto's arm. "Now you can you used chakra again!"

"Yahoo!" Naruto yelled, running out of the hospital.

Then he found Hinata.

"Oh, Naruto g-g-g-good job in the exams today," She said, pushing her fingers together.

"Thanks! And by the way," Naruto leaned over catching Hinata by surprise in a quick, sweet kiss. "I couldn't help but be part of your dream when you fainted earlier."

Naruto looked into Hinata's eyes expectantly, only to see her eyes roll into the back of her head and her body slump forward.

* * *

Ordeal! Dealing with Ordeal! Romance!

Gimme some credit, I do this all on a phone.

Fun fact: Naruto's loudness and dumbness is an attention scam.

Yay!

 _R_ &R!


	8. Chuunin exams part 2

I DON'T OWN NARUTO LOL

Yo, slow updates are so worth!

Fun fact: The bars of the kyuubi's cage are large enough for Naruto to squeeze through, but who would go in a cage with a demon? (Naruto could have used this to his advantage when stealing the kyuubi's chakra.

* * *

Naruto lifted Hinata up and carried her back to the stands for the last part of the test.

Kiba saw him and immedianlty teased.

"Why didn't you invite me to the wedding?"

"Shut it, dog-breath, it's not like that," Naruto replied blushing.

"Then you won't mind me touching her?"

"Do and Die," Naruto growled.

Kiba decided to test this.

"Worth!" He yelled as he brought his hand to quickly cop a feel of Hinata's luscious melons, when Naruto grabbed his arm and literally threw him to the other side of the stadium.

"Told ya!" Naruto yelled, "Shino, protect her for me please."

The (grateful for being noticed) nearby bug user nodded and stood watch as Naruto set Hinata in a seat.

"I hope she wakes up soon, my match is the first one!" Naruto muttered as he jumped down to prepare."

Naruto didn't notice the body of Kiba he threw turned into a log upon impact. Kiba reappeared behind a seat and popped up when Naruto left.

"So he does like her, huh?"

"I agree, Kiba. Your test showed he is now quite territorial over our teamate."

"I feel like they would make an OK couple, because I'm the jackpot around here!"

Shino simply shrugged.

….

"And the third round begins! I'm Hayate Gecko, this test's judge and I am announcer the last round will be a tournament!"

The crowd cheers.

"As you can see, all the Kage are watching!"

The crowd cheered and looked up at the balcony Gaara built. Tsunade waved and smiled while everyone else just kinda snorted. (The mist Kage smiled)

"This may be an all out fight, but keep it clean! No fighting after a surrender! No killing if you can help it! The Kage and I will pick who becomes chuunin, with help from civillians, but the winner is automatically promoted!"

" The first fight is….Jade v.s. Naruto!"

As the fighters stepped onto the field, many boos were heard for Naruto. He just smiled and waved them off.

"3...2...1...FIGHT!"

Jade jumped back and flipped through hand seals.

 _The signs for a rock raising jutsu huh? By the name, he''ll probably go for jade._

"Rock-raising jutsu!" Jade cried as Naruto leaped to avoid the jagged green minerals shooting up from the ground.

 _Counter with explosive, air - to - Earth attacks._

"Fire style: Pheonix flower jutsu!"

Fireballs rained from the sky, hitting Jade and destroying his rock formations.

Kakashi narrowed his eye. Naruto didn't have the fire element, how did he do that?

Other ninja were so used to seeing his rasengan and just assumed it was a rarely used jutsu in his arsenal.

Jade surrendered becuase fire hurts, giving an easy win to Naruto.

(A/N: Speeding things 4 plot)

"Next match! Lennon v.s. Naruto!"

Naruto was surprised at the speed this was moving along, he didn't even get a break.

Lennon wasted no time dashing towards Naruto with a punch. Naruto blocked and attempted a sweep kick, but Lennon jumped backwards and used sand to make a small, yet dense ball around himself.

 _He's doing that thing that Gaara does!_

Naruto saw a familiar eyeball form and identify him. Spikes of sand rose from the ground to catch Naruto, who started running around the ball of defense. Gaining an idea, Naruto ran at the ball with a rasengan. When he got close, the ball grew spikes and stabbed him. POOF! The clone disappeared.

"Gotcha now!" the eyeball heard panicking as it turned around to see a senbon fly into the ball. It wasn't deep enough to hurt Lennon, and you couldn't push it in without getting stabbed, so he left it alone.

"Heh, Water style: infinite waterfall jutsu!" Naruto yelled.

A dull gurgling noise was heard, but no water became visible.

"Huh, I thought I summon a waterfall." Naruto said dumbly, earning Laughs and mockery from the crowd.

Kakashi and the kage (minus Gaara because he ain't THAT educated.) gasped, they knew what exactly was going to happen and it wouldn't be pretty.

Kakashi was especially appalled.

 _That kid has three elements! Clashing ones too! And that technique is forbidden because of chakra abuse! How!_

Suddenly the ball of sand turned brown, and then then completely collapsed, realing a large amount of water, a senbon, and an uncouncious genin.

The crowd was appalled. Naruto distracted Lennon by making a clone. He threw a senbon into the ball and had infinite amounts of water flow from it via the jutsu, drowning Lennon in his own trick.

"He should be disqualified!"

"That's something only a DEMON would do!"

"Isn't that cheating?"

Naruto smiled and looked at his shocked friends as medics arrived.

Round two winner, Naruto!

Naruto watched the next 6 matches. The two Nate fought were ended relatively quickly also, but with mostly taijutsu. The were two people who killed bothe of their opponents Naruto observed closely, the both looked very familiar. One had a sharingan, and one was blue. With a gasp, Naruto realised who there were, he had seen them before once when he was on a mission with Jiraiya, and Sasuke showed up. (A/N: By this point only Naruto, Sasuke and Jiraiya have seen them in person. And Jiraya has skipped town for 'Research') How was he going tell everyone two akatsuki members were here? Would ruin the exams like last time. Naruto just decided to try and pass first.

"Next match! Nate v.s. Naruto!"

"So it finally happens," Nate said.

"I'm gonna kick your ass," Naruto said dumbly.

"How about another bet? You win and I'll be your ally through thick and thin, and if I win, your girl becomes my girl. Deal?"

Naruto stole a glance at where Hinata was sitting. Catching her eye caused her to blush really hard.

Naruto turned around sharply.

"I'm gonna kick your ass!" Naruto stated dumbly.

"Oh, I don't think so." Nate started. "I've read up on you. You're a hated kid, who took the exams 6 years ago once, failed, and hasn't tried again since. What? Scared?"

"I'm gonna kick your ass!" Naruto growled dumbly.

"Oh, I'm not done. The one you took was even interrupted by Orochimaru, and evidence shows you cried like a baby and whined to Sasuke for helpwhen the One tailed tanuki showed up."

"I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!" Naruto roared dumbly.

"Tiger, dragon, ram, Hidden art: Rage absorbtion!"

Naruto suddenly felt very happy for no reason.

 _Oh no, he used that jutsu. I didnt have my guard up...I will have keep it at taijutsu to be safe._

But to Naruto's surprise, Nate zoomed at him at blinding speeds, forcing him to go on the defensive.

The whole time, Nate was shouting insults on a personal level.

"I'm glad you didn't meet your parents they would have been disappointed in your weakness!"

"How can you go out like that? When you are a demon?"

"Feeling happy? There is lots of hate and rejection to go around, in your home, KONOHA!

Naruto was about to lose it ,but he knew Nate was going to just suck out his anger and win. There had to be something that made him happy somewhere! In panic his eyes flitted up to Hinata, her face filled with worry. He couldn't lose when she was there.

WHOCK

Nate found an opening and sent Naruto flying with an anger loaded punch.

Naruto tried to sit up, but the pain was too great. His anger was too great.

Nate walked over cockily and looked at Hinata.

"Wanna what will happen when I win? This, Genjutsu of Nightmares!" Nate yelled as he grabbed Naruto's face.

Naruto saw horrid pictures in his mind of Nate violently raping Hinata as she screamed, cried, and struggled. This was too much for his brain. He broke.

Civilians saw Nate grab Naruto. Then watched as he screamed, releasing a red chakra pulse, sending Nate flying.

 **Ur fukin dun kid**

 _Oh shit_. We're the last thoughts of Nate.

Round 8 winner, Naruto Uzumaki!

The crowd was silent, shocked by the carnage they witnessed.

Then Hinata cheered. Followed by the rookie nine. Followed by the rest of the ninja. The civilians did not like this at all.

* * *

(Psst. Go reread chapter 3. I fixed it.)

To be clear the exams are in the land of the sand and lear civilians attended for a peace thing.

Please review, it excites me! In a good way! Because of you guys I'm mapping out the plot pretty far.

Fun fact: The unbreakable genjutsu doesn't require chakra, which is also why it's unbreakable.

Yay!

R&R!


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